Saturday, March 26, 2005

Endings

I'm getting sad. Well, not really sad.

Just not wanting to let go of my characters as I reach the end of writing my second novel. I like/love them, even with their good and bad traits, flaws and positive characteristics. A lot of writers talk about how they live, breathe, and hear their characters 24/7 while immersed in the creative process. I've been up since 5 am writing, and since I know where I'm headed in terms of an ending, I'm finding myself delaying, not wanting to say goodbye to these characters and their desperate situations. (That's what the quick e-mail break is about right now... delaying the inevitable.? I know I'll have to revisit these characters again during the revision stage, but at some point in the next few days I'll say goodbye and send them on a short vacation. Yeah, that's it. Not goodbye. A short vacation.

Saying goodbye is never an easy thing. So sang Taylor Dayne (and Mikalah on American Idol the other day) in her song, "Love Will Lead You Back." Sometimes, love won't lead you back.

(weird transition, but hold on...)

There's a stalker at my gym. He's stalking his ex-girlfriend. How do I know? Well, I used to see them together -- happily together -- at another location of the fitness chain at 5 am working out. Then I changed locations, and workout times. Now, mainly 6 pm. Another city. So did she. Alone. Until about two months ago, I noticed her ex, let's call him Braided Pony Tail Psycho Man, started showing up and standing next to her treadmill just watching her. He'd talk. She'd run. He'd pour out his heart, talk about their "amor," his "corazon" breaking, how they're meant to be together. How did I hear all this? Turned down the volume, but kept the headphones on. OK. I'm nosy. I'm a writer.

Last night, as I pulled into the gym parking lot, I noticed her getting into her car. Finished with her workout. As I drove past, Braided Pony Tail Psycho Man appeared out of nowhere from behind a wall, wicked smile, piercing look, held her car door open as she was getting ready to close it. Kinda freaked me out. I paused, looked, just so they'd know I see them, and kept driving until I found a space. Said a small prayer that she was being proactive with getting help (i.e. restraining order, telling friends and family of her whereabouts and schedule, varying her schedule so it isn't predictable) and that Braided Pony Tail Psycho Man would realize the error of his ways, seek help for his problems, and conclude that there's NOTHING another person can do to make someone feel anything. And since I don't know either of them personally, I can't just intervene and say, "Dude, chill with the stalker action. Lady, tell him to get the f*^k away from you." Anyway, he looked like he's just arrived, mainly just to "see" her. He never came into the gym to work out. And, since I'm nosy, I know what cardio machines he, and she, generally uses.

Let me echo this again, because I've been distraught over breakups in my past (but never getting to the point of being stalkerish): YOU CAN'T MAKE SOMEONE LOVE YOU; YOU CAN'T MAKE SOMEONE COME BACK TO YOU.

You only have control over your own choices and behaviors. No one elses.

Anyway, I hope their ending -- when/if it gets to that point -- is peaceful and amicable.
When I get to the ending of my novel, I'll let you know. I'm delaying, but getting there.

fs

P.S. Don't have time/energy to get links for where to get help with endings -- relationships or novels. If you have something to share, please do with all of us.

1 comment:

Trent Jackson said...

AHHHHHHHH LOL!!! That is the best story. Braided pony tail pscyho man...