Updates from Frederick Smith, former Detroiter living in Los Angeles, and author of Down For Whatever (July2005) and Right Side of the Wrong Bed (December 2007).
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Hey, This Relationship is Kinda Sucky, So Why Am I Hanging on So Tightly?
If I were a blues or country music singer, this would be the title of a song I'd write for all the summer Pride season events. Or it would be the show-stopper finale before the club closes each night.
Sometimes... we hang on to romantic relationships, real or imagined, long-term or recently-formed, for just a little bit too long. Or can't let go because we can't see the prospect of another day without Boo-Boo Butterfield or ShaStanka Rollins... or can't see ourselves with anyone but Boo-Boo or ShaStanka.
But there is light. There is ALWAYS light at the end of the tunnel.
Yeah, they're pop culturey. And funny. And some people don't get into the Sex & The City-ish tone and style, but they're cute books. And a nice kick in the arse to get you up and out and seeing the best you have to offer.
Your best is always there. ALWAYS there, even when you think you've been rejected, abused, torn, or misused.
But... don't call when you're at your worst (like 3:13 am after the club), don't stay in touch with his/her friends hoping that'll keep you hanging on (they were his friends, not yours, before you met), don't think s/he's THAT busy to return a call... your call, if you were truly the light of his/her eyes, would be the ONE THING he/she'd look forward to doing in the midst of a busy, crazy day.
Just remember... there is ALWAYS light at the end of the tunnel. You deserve to have your expectations met. Your best is ALWAYS there, even in the midst of blahness. And while romantic relationships definitely enhance your life, remember that your life was just that before Mr. or Ms. Right came into it.
Oh... and "Gaylord Focker" (nickname humorously given by No4Real4Real) is outta the picture. lol. And... this post could also apply to a job you're hanging on to, when you feel you would do better elsewhere :-) fs