As we head into this "greeting-card-company" holiday called Valentine's Day, I can't help but write about what's on many of our minds -- whether it's for happy reasons or not-so-happy reasons.
Not that I'm currently in love with anyone. I'm kinda digging someone right now and we've been hanging out since the beginning of the year when we met. Such vague and non-commiting language, I know. Because I'm not sure if our expectations are on the same level, and honestly because it's been fun spending time with him, I don't want to jinx it by bringing anything up to show we're just not that into each other. If it's fun and flowing, why mess it up?
But I tell you, when expectations don't match -- meaning one likes one more than the other, or one wants a sexual relationship only while the other wants an emotional relationship to develop -- and no one talks about the expectations, that's how hearts get broken. Just say upfront -- I want this, what are you expecting, and I hope we match... or can grow to match in expectations. Or, if the expectations are mis-matched, and you KNOW you're mis-matched, and can psychologically deal with the mis-matched expectations... then by all means... enjoy. Being centered is a good thing in this area.
(If you're reading this... my fun/ny, goofball, still-getting-your-life-together, party-loving, spontaneous scheduler and flaker, server of a mean blended java, twenty-something man of multiple jobs and talents and skills... this is what you get for hanging with a writer type... you asked... we'll talk. hehe.)
So long story short, pick up or read J. California Cooper's short story collection Some Love, Some Pain, Sometime. Great stories about women who choose the wrong man, people who think they'll never find a significant other but do, and femme fatales who use every trick in the book to get a man.
What I love about J. California Cooper's stories is that the characters will tell you/teach you the things your mom or grandma would tell/teach you if they were in the room. That wonderful mother-wit. The stuff we all need. The stuff we choose to throw to the wind when we know we should take it into consideration. Just because he looks good... or makes us feel good, like a Monster's Ball "make me feel good" moment.
But ultimately, it's about J. California Cooper's writing.
Wrote about J. California Cooper before. And my favorite short story by her, "$100 and Nothing," about a haunting kind of love.