So I have a friend/acquaintance who I'm starting to have snobbish thoughts about/aimed toward him. Wondering what you think? Or if you've had a similar situation?
The thoughts had kinda crept up just before the holidays. I let them marinate while I was away. Last night we hung out, and I had thoughts that I kinda don't want him to be part of my "group" anymore. I feel guilty about those thoughts.
The main reason. I feel things aren't reciprocal. Now, I can understand being short on cash in between paychecks. I can even understand that we are from different professional/social backgrounds, so things can't be equal, we can't do the same things, etc... Everyone experiences that. When we're doing rounds at the bar, he's always there with his order. When it's his turn for rounds, he need to take a bathroom break and returns with his solo drink. His hand is always out for gum, mints, a couple dollars for one of the cute dancers, etc... Another friend of my "group" told me he bought El Cheapo's New Year's Eve party ticket.
Shallow stuff to be reflecting on, huh?
The part I'm struggling with is the non-reciprocal friendship part. Now usually, in normal friendships, your initial greetings are "Hi" "How are you?" "What's up?" "How have you been?" etc... Not, "Do I look good?" or "Do I look like a top or bottom tonight?" or "How you like my outfit?" My inner snob is like, "Is that ALL you can greet me with, and you're 30 y.o.?"
Is that bad? I'm a nice guy, try to keep like drama free, quiet, not a snob at all. How can I be... I've got flaws like everyone else.
But... How do you deal with your inner snob when it comes to friendships? Is this shallow stuff that's not worth sweating? Is it worth a group intervention? Or do you slowly let a relationship drift away without any sort of processing? Shoot, it's a New Year.
Oh and by the way, I'm not even worried that he'll read this blog. My inner snob knows he doesn't read... ANYthing! :-)
Translating John Sargent
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